Archive for the Mambalam Mani Category

What a relief!

Posted in Mambalam, Mambalam Mani, Peelings on May 12, 2009 by filarial

Mambalam Mani now has a chance.. 😀

 

WASHINGTON – Apparently the bad boy doesn’t always get the girl. At least in a South American tribe with the highest known murder rate, it turns out that the most aggressive guys end up with fewer wives and children than milder men, according to a report in Tuesday’s edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Researchers led by Stephen Beckerman of Pennsylvania State University studied the Waorani of Ecuador, who had their first peaceful contact with outsiders in 1958.

The Waorani had a reputation for killing outsiders and being equally aggressive among one another, being listed as having the highest homicide rate known to anthropology. Indeed, over five generations 42 percent of all Waorani population losses were caused by killing one another and another 8 percent were killed in conflicts with outsiders.

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The Global Media & the American Election – A Timeline

Posted in Blighted Media, Idiot Soceity, Mambalam Mani on November 6, 2008 by Mambalam Mani

Two years ago: Coverage of Obama begins, marking the beginning of a new era in modern media in which hype and hoopla gains a whole new meaning.

One year ago: Media falls completely head over heels for Obama causing the money Obama spent for campaigning redundant. Indian media had no other option but to follow suit. After all they have to chose the path of their Godfathers. Meanwhile, McCain gathers attention too.

3 Months back: Media still frenzied about Obama but found new dolls in Joe Biden & Sarah Palin, whose names too got tossed around liberally. Suddenly US seemed to be a nice place. No reports of Gun shots in school or in downtowns, no girls being abducted, no texas ranch misdeamenours in media. It is all economy and the US elections.

1 Month back: Sarah Palin’s craning the neck to see audience at an angle of 90 degrees to her at the Republic National Convention occupies airwaves as much as Obama’s call for change.

3 Weeks back: Major plasma TV manufacturers would have seen a spike in the number of complaints from consumers about their TV sets retaining static images of Obama or McCain or their names on the screen. This is easily attributable to to the concept of burn-in, that affects pixels when you pause or have the TV showing the same image for too long causing these images to be burned into the pixles of the TV, a conditon that was natural considering the amount of time the images of these people were on channels.

2 Weeks back: The new Glam doll loses its sheen, after it was found that her ideas of experience for Vice-Presidency were rather strange including the much publicized reason of her state’s geographic proximity to Russia. This could give ideas to politicians all around the world including our own Dravidian parties. We could soon have Jayalalitha proclaiming her experience in International relations after dealing with problematic Sri Lanka which is quite clearly visible, if the observer strains a bit, from Rameshwaram.

1 Week back: Media focuses more on Obama including all his relations, dead or alive. Analyze for the millionth time what could possibly go wrong in Obama’s march to the White House and reiterate for the 10,000th time the importance of swing states.

1 day back: People all over the world praying to God and thanking Him, not just for the new Government but also as they believed they will get to see some real news other than US elections. Brats in Chennai who will probably not vote even after turning 18, citing reasons from academic commitments to want of choice in Indian political scene, are exuberant in procaliming that their vote goes for Obama as if the guy in Michigan who got laid off because his job was shipped off to China and India was waiting to hear their opinion.

1 hour back: Media doesnt want to give in that easily. It now analyzes the victory by plotting nice histograms and pie-charts that would actually convince the viewers to think that the anchor is talking about something significant. CNN comes up with unique ways of classifying the voters to and analyzes to find out the preffered candidate of each group. Groups included seniors over 65, first time voters, pregnant women, afro-americans, people who got laid-off in recent months, smokers, rapists, suicide attemptors, con artists, circus trainers, Starbucks lovers, etc., Also, a special report on the new daily activities of the Presidential-Elect (from going to the Gym in the morning) and a new poll enticing the viewers to decide if “Sarah Palin was given the bum’.

1 min back: CNN obviously has had enough of the election and John McCain and now want to focus on challenges ahead of Obama. They talk fervently about how Obama has tough challenges ahead and would be having his first security briefing today. They even manage to hook up to a specialist in Washington DC for expert opinion on what briefing could be about. The expert ends up speculating that it could range from threats to US posed by Iran, the hunt for terrorists in Pakistan and talks about how Clinton and Bush faced big attacks in their first year and so why Obama would be getting prepared for one.

Meanwhile, all NRIs in US who happily supported Obama, by announcing it in Gtalk, Orkut and other public domains, because they ‘care’ are in jubilation. Skeptics like me, who question the point of this valiant exercise, are abused with phrases such as ‘not intelligent enough to follow politics’, ‘you dont care about what is happening. you are lackadaisical’, ‘as an educated person you should be aware of it’ etc., Not that I dont know what is happening, because all channels and newspapers and blogs have been agog with this ‘phenomenon’. Enough has been said and discussed about the pros and cons of having Obama or McCain as next President, that people are all aware of it. But still what is the point in proclaiming ‘Go Obama’, ‘Change has come’ etc. How do you know, for example, change has come? You will know change only after it happens right? Or is just a new party at the helm the ultimate change everyone wanted? Pretty confusing, if you ask me. Because who cares what NRIs think? Americans are going to think what is best for them and decide. And.. oh what the hell! Who am I trying to convince? Damn all.

How to put it?

Posted in advanced thinking 101, Blighted Media, Mambalam Mani with tags , , , on July 28, 2008 by Mambalam Mani

I could not figure out how to interpret this.

“Puneet Gupta, 23, said he was trying to avoid crowded markets, but his girlfriend, Jyotsna Malhotra, 21, said she was determined not to let it get in the way of her fun. “We are not sure what is going to happen tomorrow,” she said. “Better to live today, shop, get him to spend some money on me.” ”

One way is to use the media (& politicians alike) rhetorics and say that it is a sign of India’s resilience in the wake of ‘cowardly acts of terrorism’. Or I can make a wisecrack on  women. Or I have the easier option of criticizing Somini Sengupta for her inappropriate reporting and making light of a horrific incident.

Options are aplenty!

I, the Omnipotent

Posted in Cricket, Mambalam Mani with tags on July 17, 2008 by Mambalam Mani

I am the most powerful of all. I am the richest. I have the most bloated head. I can twist anybody’s arm and dictate terms to everyone. I am all encompassing, all pervading, and have the final word in everything. Dare not cross my path, lest my vendetta strikes you down to dust. I am the BCCI.

‘Electing’ to stay fit

Posted in Mambalam Mani with tags on May 9, 2008 by Mambalam Mani

It is safe to assume that Sharad Pawar being the Chairman of BCCI and a MP at the same time will inaugurate the facility by being the first person to run on the treadmill. And of course, the obnoxiously omnipresent Shahrukh Khan might even host an inaugural show where he will perform numbers from his films.

Soli(ci)tude

Posted in Mambalam Mani, Peelings on May 5, 2008 by Mambalam Mani

The problem with going to a restaurant alone is not the long, queasy stares by hand-holding and whispering couples but with the waiter/hostess who seats you as you enter the restaurant and who, inspite of knowing very well that you always come alone, still asks, “Are you by yourself today, Sir?”

On why the media always gets it wrong

Posted in Blighted Media, Cricket, Mambalam Mani on May 1, 2008 by Mambalam Mani

Admit it Indian media. You may have the subscription base. But you are not as smart as your white skinned counterparts. Seriously. You cannot be so whimsical. Backing somebody so much and then dumping the person like a bag of trash. Harbhajan was supported to the hilt when he was ‘racially discriminated’ against by Aussies down under. And now he is being trounced by the India media as a vicious person who must be ‘punished’, ‘not to be dealt with softly anymore’, etc. I thought those were declarations reserved by the Australian media who, predictably, are laughing their hearts out.

But there must be a section of people in the Indian contingent who obviously did not like Harbhajan, the hero who became the modern face of India’s fight against racial discrimination so recently, and they joined hands with evil forces from Australia and South Africa, who were keen to see his downfall before his popularity assumes gigantic proportions. They have twisted the facts of events that happened a few days back and as a result our turbanator is made to look like a spoilt brat.

I sequentially analyzed the events that happened in those few hours and have come to the conclusion that Harbhajan is innocent. So is Sreesanth. And so is Amiesh Sahiba. My point is that events were misconstrued deliberately to make Harbhajan look like an offender. It is reported that after the Kings XI won the match, the players on field were shaking hands with their opposition. At this moment, the ever excited Sreesanth went upto Harbhajan and told him, “Hard Luck” which triggered our Sardar to slap the well wisher hard on his cheek. Suspiciously, no video evidence of the slap has so far made its way through the all pervasive internet. This makes it all the more fishy. Added to this is that post-slapping interviews of all concerned and unconcerned players. Harbhajan virtuously declares that he never slapped Sreesanth who in turn clearly states that he never had any ‘gumblaints’ about Harbhajan in the first place. He also goes to say that Harbhajan is like his elder brother who did not slap him but probably just ‘shook him in the wrong place’. So for all you morons – the evidence (or the lack of it) is out there. Both parties categorically declining that the event took place unlike the incidents that happened down under, where there were two section with opposing views leading to a hearing to decide who ‘sounded more convincing‘.

If Harbhajan did not slap Sreesanth then what made him cry? Further analysis of the videos reveal the truth. When the players were walking back to the pavilion, an exuberant Preity Zinta was captured on tape to give Brett Lee a bear hug and a light peck on the cheek. Reliable sources have however revealed that she refused to do the same to some of the Indian players. Some of them took umbrage at this and ignored her. But Sreesanth could not bear the insult. His childish sensibilities overcame his self-control and he started crying because of the insult, as well as the lost opportunity to attain instantaneous ‘adulthood’. Infact, Sangakkara who felt so much for this poor chap can even be seen trying to persuade Preity Zinta to give Sreesanth atleast a tap on his head, but to no avail.

Seriously you blighted people in the India media, cant you see that what transpired must have been an unusually delicate matter to have made poor Sreesanth cry. Otherwise, he would have reacted in numerous ways to being slapped as he has in the past like this, this, this or this.