Why I like IPL and hate all ‘seth’ pasanga…

The IPL is good. It groups players from different countries in the same teams and makes them play against each other (or with each other depending upon the way you interpret it). This makes those interesting yet commercially drab one-off World XI vs some-other-team XI a regular feature. I do not know how good it is for young players, with Lalit Modi claiming that it would expose fledgling players to professionals and would aid their development. One thing that is certain is that the fielding w(sh)ould improve. Indian players might lift their fielding levels in one match but it would inevitably drop the next match. Competitiveness can cause Indian players to lift their fielding levels on observing opposing teams like Australia and South Africa on the field. But it is a different issue when you have them as your own team mates and you field side by side with them. The embarrassment of letting a ball slip through the hands when the foreign player dives and stops the same should stimulate our ever-ageing players to be more alert (hopefully).

Generally, international tours last forever. Three or more test matches followed by 5 ODIs and all played against the same team. Indian tour of Australia lasted nearly one and a half months. Before they play against a team from West Indies or England, half the side would have changed in the opposition due to injuries, retirement or players being dropped due to lack of form. So either ICC should have test series featuring more than 3 test teams or let the IPL format prevail in all modes of cricket. More fun.

Since the ICC is an inert elephant, we can safely assume it will do nothing. So once again our dear old Lalit will jump into the act and conduct tournaments withing the IPL league in all three formats of the game. All players who swear by their country saying that they put commitment to the national team before anything else will eventually end up in IPL. And this is where the IPL and BCCI become autonomous entities (Yaaay!!) Then the concept of nationality loses credibility. And there will be no more Indian team playing international matches, losing half the time and thereby casting half its fans in anguish and launching the other half into a stoning and burning spree. Instead, fans can cheer for their local teams. Maybe this would cause the people to fight within India. But it is nothing new. People anyways fight within India and so this would serve just as an added reason to fight within ourselves Whenever Bangalore plays Chennai, we can have overwhelming feelings sweeping the two states which can substitute an India-Pakistan match. Chennai fans can raise slogans saying, “We are the Super Kings of land as well as water” whenever we (Chennai) win a match. (Chennai team’s sponsors India Cements can also coin a slogan that goes something like ‘The team is rock solid just like our cement’, though the Bangalore fans might get back at it by saying ‘For making that cement you first need to get water from us’.

Since most of the money in cricket is within India, why let it go to foreign cricket boards in the name of International matches. Lets play league matches within ourselves and keep the revenue to ourselves with a small portion of it given as match fees or contracts to those poor foreign players. Then there will be no need for ICC and even if there is one, nobody will care about it. We can organize matches between our local teams. And like the American concept, whoever wins in the matches between the regional teams will be crowned the ‘World Champions’. It is tough foreseeing India ever on the top of Test or ODI rankings or even the T20 rankings on a consistent basis. So let us have only our regional matches and we would always have some team from India that would be world champions! Win-Win situation.

Ok, so now we have the IPL and I am supporting it fully. So it is time to take stands. Naturally, my l(r)oyalty lies with Chennai. But in neutral matches, I will support some teams. Firstly, I will support any team that plays Mumbai. Reason? Mumbai is the only team in the league that has made all its foreign players naturalized citizens of India by naming itself as ‘Mumbai Indians’ while all the other foreign players in the rest of the teams remain aliens in our Hindustan. Secondly, Mumbai fans are probably the only idiots in the country who chant ‘ganapathi bappa moriya’ during an IPL match when their team was losing. Invoking Hanuman for some reasons is OK. Praying to Ganapathi is not.
I also would support any team that plays the Kolkata Knight Riders team. Mainly, I am sick of Shahrukh Khan and his antics. He comes with a pony tail like a eunuch and dances with cricketers and uses the popularity of cricket to market his movies and himself. Two, it has a name that is so blatantly copied from a show which Shahrukh Khan saw decades ago. Three, the team coach is John Buchannan. I do not like the Kings XI Punjab for similar reasons involving Preity Zinta. I do not like the Deccan Chargers because it is sponsored by Deccan Chronicle which unceremoniously snatched away half the readership from Chennai’s beloved national newspaper The Hindu. Naturally, as a Chennaivaasi I cannot support Bangalore even in my dreams, as not only do they still refuse to give water to TamilNadu but the Bangaloreans (or Bengalooreans) burned effigies of Rajinikanth. As for the Delhi Daredevils and Rajasthan Royals, they were so blinded enough to induct Pakistani batsmen in their teams. So reejeted.

Hmm, finally I guess I have only team that I can support. I should have foreseen this one coming.

*To Chennaivaasis, anybody who comes beyond Gummidipundi are ‘Seth’, just like all North Indians consider people from the south to be Madrasis